I must be made of strong stuff
Arriving at Heathrow from Zimbabwe again on 18 December 2001, I was full of excitement! I had been in London for the millennium celebrations with my son the year before. This trip was to attend my aunt’s (RIP) fifth wedding. Aunt Mavis – my dad’s sister, the family matriarch – was my hero and role model.
I was an IT manager for a regional NGO, and my son was in mid-secondary school at a boarding school. The plan was to return in the second week of January. I had arranged for my family to handle my son’s fees and back-to-school preparations.
The wedding went well in Essex — it even snowed! A couple of close people remarked that I looked “different.” We celebrated in our Zimbabwean way – with food, drink, and dancing. This was followed by Christmas celebrations, late nights, more food, drink, and dancing. After Boxing Day, I felt unwell. I had a severe cold and took all the over-the-counter meds, but there wasn’t much change. Aunt Mavis suggested I should consider getting tested for HIV. I was scared, but I felt I should do it, so I’d have one less thing to worry about.
A couple of days after the New Year in 2002, I went for the HIV test. Twenty-four hours later, my life and dreams were crushed. I was 36 years old. When the shock settled and I had been to the hospital, I was referred to Positively Women (now Positively UK). Meeting other women in my situation and getting empowered helped me accept my diagnosis. I decided I would not let the HIV virus determine how I lived my life — I wanted to be in control!
I had a lot to deal with; I was on a visitor’s visa and waited six and a half years to get settlement. This was all through the massive support from Positively Women. While I was waiting, I volunteered and attended support groups. I made friends — some for life. I gained knowledge and skills that have helped me thrive to this day. I had adaptable skills, so getting my first job with HIV i-Base as UK Community Advisory Board (UK-CAB) Coordinator was not difficult. I continued to volunteer and still work with women from Positively Women.
When 4M was established, I helped wherever my skills were applicable. I’m proud to say my son designed the 4M logo! I find the 4M Network a rich resource of lived HIV experiences. It’s my go-to for any presentations I do that involve women. I always want to ensure women’s experiences are raised and influence policy changes. It’s a network of empowered mothers living with HIV. Through the important projects we work on, there’s always time for a good giggle.
The future…
I have faced other challenges over the years. I have a family history of Adult Polycystic Kidney Disease, which was diagnosed shortly after my HIV diagnosis. I was fortunate to have a kidney transplant in 2015. It felt like a reboot, and I now enjoy a good quality of life.
As if the kidney problem wasn’t enough, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2024. Fortunately, it was detected early, and after treatment, I am now in remission.
I have a big six-oh birthday coming up in January 2026. How do I feel? I feel great and am living my best life. I have a wonderful support network – peers, friends, and family!
I am definitely made of strong stuff. I am here today because of all the love and support around me.